RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD MIND

RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD MIND

 I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.

A young lady walks over to me and asks, “What brings you in today?”  
 I looked at her, and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.” 

She didn’t quite know how to respond.

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone

has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So I wear my garage door opener.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something

on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

 I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it ‘Pumping Rust.’

When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?”

Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”

 Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.

 I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.’  

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat

have  gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are   XL.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble..

 Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘ The’    and ‘ IRS ‘ together it spells   Theirs…’

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start
bragging about it.  
 Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to
know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

 Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

May you always have     Love to Share,                        

                                          Cash to Spare, 
                                              Friends who Care.

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