The RHATT Watch
Today is Thursday, June 28th, Day 64 of the Rhatt Watch.
On the evening of Monday June 11th, at the Jasper City Council Meeting, the residents of the City of Jasper were treated to a rare performance by the World Famous Red-face Ratt. It has been reported that shortly before the Ratt entered the Council Chambers and took his place at the council table, the audience anticipation was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife.
You may recall that Daddy Bobby first recognized the Red-face phenomena long ago when the Ratt was still a teenager. Whenever the Ratt attempted to lie and/or was caught in a lie, his face took on a rosy color. This behavior by the Ratt was particularly troubling to Daddy Bobby and was one of the primary reasons the Ratt was estranged from Daddy Bobby and also the major contributing factor to Daddy Bobby’s drinking a fifth of Lord Calvert every night.
However, it wasn’t until White Springs residents, experiencing a non-stop deluge of lies by the Ratt, recognized there was a correlation between the redness intensity of his face and the significance of the lie. Apparently, someone from Jasper, understanding a unique Ratt performance might occur, had borrowed the Ratt Redness – Lying Meter’ recently developed in White Springs. Almost immediately, whispers could be heard concerning how RED and chasten, even sickly, his face looked. An audience member opined the Rat Redness – Lying Meter was bouncing between 35 and 70 percent before the Ratt opened his mouth publicly. Another whisper was heard indicating the Ratt probably told a whopper to a Council Member just prior to entering the Council Chamber. Then nearly, in lock-step, a bevy of cell phones, laptops, IPads and other electronic devices began recording the Ratt, each hoping to capture that one moment, that one clip, which makes their every effort worth while. Council Members could be seen sneaking looks in the direction of the Ratt to glean the latest color intensity. The Council Chair, not wanting the Members or the meeting audience to experience either the low Martinsdale rating of any Ratt advice or deluge of lies took command of the meeting. Still the Ratt Redness – Lying Meter continued to bounce between 35 and 70 percent and sometimes higher.
An then it happened, the Ratt opened his mouth. Instantly the Ratt Redness-Lying Meter pegged of the scale. Apparently everyone had become so excited that no one could remember what the Ratt had said. The discussion returned to the Ratt’s physical appearance, red-face and sickly. An audience member suggest the Ratt appeared to exhibit sympthoms similar to those of HIV/AIDS victims. With the recent spurt in the number of local HIV/AIDS cases, it was suggested that the Ratt see his physician as soon as possible. It’s not clear what the Ratt may have contracted, but as a precaution, if you have had sexual relations with the Ratt in recent years, check with your health care provider immediately. HIV and AIDS have unusually long incubation periods and are deadly, but there are treatments available. Also contact the Florida HIV/AIDS hotline at (800) 352-2437. They can assist you with testing and treatment services and physicians.
As you know Jasper, the Ratt has a propensity to presume everyone else is stupid and that he can pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. Don’t be duped by the Ratt’s words and behavior. It’s highly probable none of it’s true or if it is even correct. In fact during the Council Meeting before the meeting adjourned and he made his way out the door, apparently the Ratt advised the Council, they could still decide to hire an outside search firm to recruit a new City Manager. This violated at least four provisions of the Florida Constitution and Statutes, including 1) Personnel matters are meetings subject to the Sunshine laws, 2) Public Notice is required, 3) Discussions by two or more Council Members are subject to the sunshine laws, and 4) Meeting Minutes are required.
Also, remember the Ratt knows a lot about nepotism, pedophilia, nepiophilia, ephebophilia, drugs, bribes, fraud and other corrupt activities. Unless that’s what you want in Jasper, give the Feds a hand. Call the FBI office in Jacksonville (904) 248-7000. You won’t regret it..
See the Ratt’s face turn RED! It’s Day 64 and Red-face Ratt hasn’t resigned yet. The Ratt Watch continues!