HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
en dothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not ! leave.

  Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let’s look at the
different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look!
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct….. .leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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