Redneck Security System

Go to a second hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 Work boots

Place them on your front porch, along wth several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA Magazines

Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine

Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim.  I went to the gun shop for more ammunition.  Back in an hour.  Don’t mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.  I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

P.S.  I locked all four of ’em in the house.  Better wait outside

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