Actual Police Officer Comments

These actual Officer comments were taken from Police car videos from around the country…

#15  “Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they’re new.  They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”

#14  “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

#13  “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” 

#12  “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  In case you didn’t know, that¹s the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.”

#11  “So, you don’t know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write any speed I want on the ticket, huh?”

#10  “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”

#9  “Warning?  You want a warning?  O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8  “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

#7  “Fair?  You want me to be fair?  Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.”

#6  “Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

#5  “No, sir, we don’t have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

#4  “Just how big were those two beers?”

#3  “In God we trust.  All others we run through NCIC.”

#2  “I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.  At least you know someone who can post your bail.”

And… the best one…

#1  “You didn’t think we gave pretty women tickets?  You’re right, we don’t… now sign here.”

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