The RHATT Pack Watch
Today is Monday, March 18th, Day 327 of the RHATT Pack Watch.
Numerous residents contacted the “Watch” over the last couple of weeks regarding sightings of “Cousin” Andrew “The Evidence Destroyer” in and around White Springs. Generally, “Cousin” Andrew was seen in the company of disgraced “Cousin” Steve “The White Springs’ Brothel and Drug Emporium” operator. As you may know “Cousin” Andrew returned White Springs’ new shiny red Emergency Vehicle. Currently, it’s parked inside the Fire Station, hidden out of sight, probably waiting until public scrutiny has pased. Don’t hold your breath “Cousin” Andrew.
Of course, “Cousin” Andrew racked up a lot of miles, far more than there should have been on the Emergency Vehicle. They are trying to hide that also. In any event, everyone has been asking why “Cousin” Andrew was in Town. He doesn’t live here, so what possible reason could there be? His companion, most of the time, “Cousin” Steve, is a clue. Apparently “Cousins” Steve and Andrew have been in a rather hot and steamy “Bromance” that extends back to the time when they shared responsibility for the operation of the White Springs Fire Station “Brothel and Drug Emporium”. Members of the Fire House Sex Club indicate their relationship back then was intimate and unbreakable. In fact, there have been numerous suggestions that what really transpired was a ‘MENAGE à TROIS’ with the Red-face Ratt . It seems this “three-some Bromance” continues. In the meantime, White Springs still doesn’t have any morsel of Fire Protection for its residents
You know what’s even more ironic? Before the Ratt came to power, installed his “Gang of Thugs” and hired his “Out of Towner” Lapdog “Just keep paying me” Tebow, White Springs had a real Fire Department and real Fire Protection, far superior to any other similar sized Municipality in Florida. You probably notice in the Jasper News that several Stephen Foster Park Rangers received Life Saver Awards for a series of dramatic rescues they performed at Big Shoals, one of the most dangerous areas of any water body anywhere in the southeastern US, Big Shoals is particularly dangerous because shoals the shoals are composed of an extremely hard “chert-like” material with jagged, pointed and razor sharp edges poised to shred any materials or body parts that come in touch with the shoal rocks. What you should know is that these same, exceeding modest, but unbelievably brave individuals were members of the very same Fire Department, led by the very same “Chief” Pittman that served White Springs so well.
Apparently the Ratt, “Gang” members Mindless “Have a 4th Grader Splain it to me” Tanja and the illegal alien “min-Me Despot” Suck-up Lofty, and the “Out of Towner” Lapdog didn’t want them around and thus destroyed the White Springs Fire Department. Which would you rather have, a couple of “Cousins” in a “Bromance” or a “menage à trois” with the Ratt whose primary interest has been finding quiet places for sex and diverting as much White Springs resources for their personal benefit, or a team of honest, hardworking, competent and continuously improving firefighters primarily concerned with your health and safety?